One year ago today this was where we were....this is Laynie taken the 1st of January. What a year. I was looking back through Laynie's scrapbooks today. We ended up going in to the hospital on January 3rd for her second stage surgery never imagining the future outcome. Reading our caringbridge entries was such a step back in time. It seems like a blur. Though looking back I know that God was there each step of the way for us and continues to direct our path in life. I also found a verse that we had been given when Laynie's heart stopped a few days later. God speaks to those who take time to listen - and He listens to those who take time to pray. The verse is Jer. 29:11 which has been a vital part of our lives this past year. "For I know the plans I have for you - declares the Lord - Plans to prosper you and and not harm you - plans to give you a hope and a purpose!" I know that God ultimately has a plan for Laynie, Selah, and our lives. I don't fully understand why we can't still have Laynie here with us, but I know that her life touched more people than we ever could have imagined and she not only drew me closer to Christ, but she strengthened my relationship with my family and friends too. I like to dwell on the fact that God ultimately knew how long she would be here and what the future held and hand picked us to be her parents for that short time. And we are BLESSED that he would entrust one of his children in our care. For ultimately every child is God's and it is our responsibility to show them His love. I pray that Laynie felt His love and our love every minute of every day. And even though the pain of not being able to bear children on my own is still a struggle, I know that if God had not led us to adoption I would not have been able to have our two daughters, that now I wouldn't trade for the world. Adoption helps me to see the big picture in life. It causes me to get off looking at my own desires and focus on what He wants me to do with this life He blesses me with.
So as this new year comes into swing, I wish you all a Happy New Year. May you feel God's love shining upon you. And if you are in the midst of heartache or struggle, I pray that you can feel God's peace that only He can give when you are fully trusting in Him to carry your burden for you. And that He will provide His grace for each day to draw Him closer as He did us. Often during the big trials in life it is easier to rely on God, because that is the hope you cling to, to carry you through. But, my goal this year is even if we are not faced with major adversity that I can still cling to my God and draw closer to Him. May you all grow in His grace and knowledge this upcoming year. God bless you all!
Our caringbridge site is still available to look at www.caringbridge.org and the name to visit is gerstbaby
