“…that man ought always to pray, and not to faint.” Luke 18:1 Are you ‘faint’?
Are there times in your life when you feel ‘faint’? Is there ever a time that our ‘faintness’ is a good enough excuse not to pray? Faint is described as faded, weak, dim, barely audible, unenthusiastic – done feebly and without conviction, to become weak or lose courage. Are there times in your life that you feel dim or barely audible? Unenthusiastic and without conviction? Faded? I know there are certain points in my life that I have felt that way. Days that in my mind that were so bad that I could not pray or did not want to pray. Days I questioned purpose in what was going on at that moment. Like the day I got the phone call that I would never bear children of my own. Or while holding Laynie’s hand while she lay in her hospital bed paralyzed not even realizing probably that I was even there. I know I felt ‘faint’ the day her heart stopped beating for 6 seconds, and that day of standing on pins and needles seemed to keep going on without end. Or the night I was awake trying to calm a baby going through drug withdrawal that was not supposed to be screaming. I surely felt ‘faint’ and wasn’t praying at that exact moment. Or what about the mother who has to give up her child because she cannot afford to feed that child...she has to feel ‘faint’. Or the man who has once again has gotten laid off and worries how he is going to provide for his family, he has to feel ‘faint’. For the child who is an orphan sitting in an orphanage at 17 years old knowing that next year he will be forced to leave and head into a world of unknowns, he has to feel ‘faint’. Or the woman who is in an abusive relationship who doesn’t know how to get out, she has to feel faint. Or the sinner who hasn’t made that first step to acknowledge their sins and turn to God for their redemption, they have to feel ‘faint’.
And why in life do we sometimes set ourselves up to become ‘faint’. We think our spouses should act a certain way, or our relationship with our family should be better, or our children don’t behave in a certain manner that we feel they should be? Why do we put our lives in a little box of “normalcy” that everything needs to fall under and when it doesn’t we start to faint because that aspect of our lives is taking more effort that we feel we should have to make. Why do we start questioning why we are having a certain trial or struggle? Because having a good marriage is work. Having a bond and close relationship with our children is rough! And instilling values in our children is a daily, sometimes hourly trial. And having close friendships takes effort. So why is it that sometimes we think all these things should just come naturally? When in reality we need ought always to pray, and faint not! God’s spirit working in us is the only reason why anything good comes from our selfish, self-centered beings. And why can’t we take the blessings or struggles that God has given us and use them to further our purpose in life, to share His gospel of love and peace and be a witness to those around us?
There is no excuse for us to ‘faint’ for we ought ALWAYS to pray. For Christ is always there interceding on our behalf. Hearing our groaning, which I can attest I have done a lot in my days. And He knows our future. He does not desire to harm us, but to give us hope! There are always going to be struggles, tests, temptations that try to tear us down. Ways that Satan tries to separate us from our spouses, our family, and our God. So what can we do for ourselves and those we love? That is what I am asking myself. PRAY! Because it is not our job to fix the problems around us, but to trust that He will take care of His children in His time. So it is our job to pray without ceasing for our families and those we love. And it is at that point that we can feel the peace that only He can give us. Because in those days that I felt ‘faint’ (weak, without courage, and dim), it is at those moments when prayers were answered by my groaning and the prayers of those who loved me - and I LITERALLY felt His Hands holding me up. I could go into so much more detail of the experience when Laynie passed away and how it truly felt to have His peace, and His alone wash over you completely. He is our STRENGTH when we are weak. His GRACE is sufficient to carry us through the struggles that this life throws at us!
So sorry if this is all scrambled and probably isn't coming across like it is in my mind :) It is more a message to myself and a challenge to do better. Because those of you that I know out there that are dealing with the struggles of life (there are many!), I am promising you that I am praying daily for you. To not ‘faint’, but to have courage and strength to make it through another minute, another day with His grace. Just know that I am willing to do whatever I can to help. So if you need someone to talk to just email me:
tjgerst@hotmail.com and I would love to be a listening ear and be able to pray more specifically for you as an individual. I also know Satan likes to work to separate us from those we love during trials, thinking that we can do it ourselves and don’t need help from those around us. But, we need to humble ourselves and lean on those around us for help. That is how God designed the body of Christ. To work together to mend broken hearts and lift each other up. May God continue to mold us into the women/men He wants us to be!
As a side note: more pictures from the past week are to come. And we are so excited for our friends Darren and Jane as their adoption of their two girls is official come tomorrow!! Another family that God continues to work miracles in!
