Are you 'faint'?

“…that man ought always to pray, and not to faint.” Luke 18:1

Are you ‘faint’?

Are there times in your life when you feel ‘faint’? Is there ever a time that our ‘faintness’ is a good enough excuse not to pray? Faint is described as faded, weak, dim, barely audible, unenthusiastic – done feebly and without conviction, to become weak or lose courage. Are there times in your life that you feel dim or barely audible? Unenthusiastic and without conviction? Faded? I know there are certain points in my life that I have felt that way. Days that in my mind that were so bad that I could not pray or did not want to pray. Days I questioned purpose in what was going on at that moment. Like the day I got the phone call that I would never bear children of my own. Or while holding Laynie’s hand while she lay in her hospital bed paralyzed not even realizing probably that I was even there. I know I felt ‘faint’ the day her heart stopped beating for 6 seconds, and that day of standing on pins and needles seemed to keep going on without end. Or the night I was awake trying to calm a baby going through drug withdrawal that was not supposed to be screaming. I surely felt ‘faint’ and wasn’t praying at that exact moment. Or what about the mother who has to give up her child because she cannot afford to feed that child...she has to feel ‘faint’. Or the man who has once again has gotten laid off and worries how he is going to provide for his family, he has to feel ‘faint’. For the child who is an orphan sitting in an orphanage at 17 years old knowing that next year he will be forced to leave and head into a world of unknowns, he has to feel ‘faint’. Or the woman who is in an abusive relationship who doesn’t know how to get out, she has to feel faint. Or the sinner who hasn’t made that first step to acknowledge their sins and turn to God for their redemption, they have to feel ‘faint’.

And why in life do we sometimes set ourselves up to become ‘faint’. We think our spouses should act a certain way, or our relationship with our family should be better, or our children don’t behave in a certain manner that we feel they should be? Why do we put our lives in a little box of “normalcy” that everything needs to fall under and when it doesn’t we start to faint because that aspect of our lives is taking more effort that we feel we should have to make. Why do we start questioning why we are having a certain trial or struggle? Because having a good marriage is work. Having a bond and close relationship with our children is rough! And instilling values in our children is a daily, sometimes hourly trial. And having close friendships takes effort. So why is it that sometimes we think all these things should just come naturally? When in reality we need ought always to pray, and faint not! God’s spirit working in us is the only reason why anything good comes from our selfish, self-centered beings. And why can’t we take the blessings or struggles that God has given us and use them to further our purpose in life, to share His gospel of love and peace and be a witness to those around us?

There is no excuse for us to ‘faint’ for we ought ALWAYS to pray. For Christ is always there interceding on our behalf. Hearing our groaning, which I can attest I have done a lot in my days. And He knows our future. He does not desire to harm us, but to give us hope! There are always going to be struggles, tests, temptations that try to tear us down. Ways that Satan tries to separate us from our spouses, our family, and our God. So what can we do for ourselves and those we love? That is what I am asking myself. PRAY! Because it is not our job to fix the problems around us, but to trust that He will take care of His children in His time. So it is our job to pray without ceasing for our families and those we love. And it is at that point that we can feel the peace that only He can give us. Because in those days that I felt ‘faint’ (weak, without courage, and dim), it is at those moments when prayers were answered by my groaning and the prayers of those who loved me - and I LITERALLY felt His Hands holding me up. I could go into so much more detail of the experience when Laynie passed away and how it truly felt to have His peace, and His alone wash over you completely. He is our STRENGTH when we are weak. His GRACE is sufficient to carry us through the struggles that this life throws at us!

So sorry if this is all scrambled and probably isn't coming across like it is in my mind :) It is more a message to myself and a challenge to do better. Because those of you that I know out there that are dealing with the struggles of life (there are many!), I am promising you that I am praying daily for you. To not ‘faint’, but to have courage and strength to make it through another minute, another day with His grace. Just know that I am willing to do whatever I can to help. So if you need someone to talk to just email me: tjgerst@hotmail.com and I would love to be a listening ear and be able to pray more specifically for you as an individual. I also know Satan likes to work to separate us from those we love during trials, thinking that we can do it ourselves and don’t need help from those around us. But, we need to humble ourselves and lean on those around us for help. That is how God designed the body of Christ. To work together to mend broken hearts and lift each other up. May God continue to mold us into the women/men He wants us to be!

As a side note: more pictures from the past week are to come. And we are so excited for our friends Darren and Jane as their adoption of their two girls is official come tomorrow!! Another family that God continues to work miracles in!

One fish, two fish...

Last night we got to go fishing with my mom and dad on his new boat for the first time. Selah had a blast. It was great knowing that she did so well on the boat because soon she will be out on our boat skiing with her daddy :)

Selah loves the wind in her face and was so happy to be out on the water.


Then Grandpa let her drive and boy did she think she was big stuff!




Not to many bites, but I did manage to catch 1 walleye and dad caught 2.


Thanks Grandpa for letting us go fishing - it was the perfect night! Memories in the making!

And let's just say that Selah was not scared of anything! I think she may be quite the fisherwoman some day :)

And as we were going home with Selah sound asleep in the back seat, I praised God for all the blessings of the evening and his beautiful creation we enjoyed! We are a blessed people!

A busy week

We had a busy week this past week. At church, vacation Bible School was taking place. On Thursday we got the privaledge of being invited to Jon and Melissa's house (a family we first met in the PICU) to hang out with their family and also Craig and Amy (another family we have become friends with through the PICU) and their kids. It was such a blast! I personally love watching Berkeley and Matthew grow up. They are both doing very well health-wise and I just loved watching them interact and play together.

Here is Berkeley and her dad along with Selah. She isn't quite sure if she wants to share her daddy's arms or not :)

This is Berkeley and Matthew throwing toys together. Both of them were just laughing away. Terrible two's?? I don't know they are both too cute!

And this is one of my favorites because I personally think Matthew is going to be such a heartbreaker when he is older. His blond hair...to die for :) Here he is showing off the goods for all the girls. Matthew's sister Taylor is in front and she played so nice with Selah too. She is going to be such a mother some day!

And Melissa - this is another of my favorites...Berkeley's "suprised" look :)

I love these girls so much and hope they can stay good friends forever.

Selah broke in her 4th tooth in the last day or so. And she loves "walking" and bouncing with whomever will hold her up. She is such a little busy body, but we love it :) Who knows, maybe she will skip crawling and go straight to walking!

And on Friday we also had lunch with Jan, whom I like to call my second mother :) Selah got the cutest little baby doll from her - honey bunny and Selah has been playing with it ever since! Can't you tell she loves Jan!

8 months old!!

Selah is 8 months old today! I just had to add a few more pictures of Selah. Her newest thing, raising her arms out to be picked up. And can I just say that I absolutely LOVE it! I long for the day that she can run towards me with her arms stretched out saying Mommy! She is still breaking through her 3rd tooth and I think the 4th (the top left) will be soon behind. Her hair is growing longer too. And if we make it wet it curls like crazy...so cute!

Here she is playing - check out that hair :)

She loves just sitting on the floor with a container of toys. She will take them out and put them back in. I think the days of going through drawers are coming soon.


Here you can see her top tooth that is breaking through

If Selah is sitting on your lap while you are eating you had better watch out. She loves to grab for anything she can get her hands on. Of course, she doesn't want just little pieces of things. She wants to hold the food herself :) She has now had pizza crusts, carrots, celery, green beans, bread, crackers, and apples.

Benefit results!

I wanted to let everyone know that from last Saturday night we raised $2094 so far for Olivia's family! I was completely blown away to say the least by people's generosity towards this family that many didn't even know prior to that night. She has touched our lives and I know touched yours the minute you heard her story.

Please continue to keep her family Zac, Julie, Jack, and Brooklyn in your thoughts and prayers. I have such sweet thoughts of Laynie and Olivia running around playing in heaven together brightening up heaven with their smiles, but sometimes that doesn't ease the feeling of loss we have of missing them both here on earth. We are jealous. We know God is faithful and someday we will get to hold them both in our arms again snuggling them to our chests, but until then pray for His grace to carry us through. The loss of a child is something one can only fathom after being through it yourself. I know that so many of our friends have carried us through so please share your prayers with this family also!

We love you C family! Thanks for being such a light and example of His love to those around you!

As a side note, if you are interested in adding to this gift for the C family in honor of Laynie there is still time. Feel free to email me or comment and we can get it to their family. Thanks again to those who have already helped!

Here are the table decorations..

And here we are practicing...