I know it was bad, but I didn't get a post done on the 30th, Laynie's birthday. It was a day filled with mixed emotion. We are in shock that Laynie would have been two this year. It has been harder as the years go by I feel, because soon after she died it was easy to be able to say that she was out of pain, no longer struggling...but now the mindset leads towards what she is missing, what she would be doing if she was 2, walking, running outside in the yard.... And the fact that Selah is two months shy of how old Laynie was when we lost her...disbelief. And then I struggled with what to do to honor Laynie's birthday, wanting to do something without going over the top that everyone thinks you are crazy. I absolutely despise going to the cemetery - I know it is horrible. It started when I went to early the first year and things looked aweful, grass had not grown, etc... It totally looks different now and is fine, but I just find it so mundain to go set flowers at her grave when we will never see them. I believe Laynie is in heaven not in her grave, so it is just an empty place for me that in movies is completely idealized. Don't get me wrong, maybe it is different for other people. But, I don't ever just go out there and sit and "talk" to Laynie. I would rather go sit in my bench in her garden and see the pretty pink flowers and think of her there or look through her scrapbooks. Anyways, needless to say Tadd, Selah, and I took some flowers to her grave on Thurs. but the real celebration of her life was on Sunday. Both sides of our family came over for supper and then we let balloons go. It was a time of reflection for me, but mostly just taking in all of God's blessings. The fact that we can get together as a family and enjoy each other is such a gift. Time is so short and spending it with those you love is what it is all about! Here are my ladybug cupcakes for our "Layniebug" :)
Getting ready to send our balloons up to the heavens for Laynie.
When Addy found out we were doing balloons she wanted to write a message to Laynie too on her balloon.
Get ready...
Up, up, and away...We love you Laynie!
Here is my brother and dad - in their element fishing.
Brooks, Addy, and Doug went fishing too. Brooks caught 2 or so, Addy 1, and I even got one! It was lots of fun.
Grandma and Selah watch the fountain splash, mesmorizing..she was so sleepy :)
5 comments:
That is so sweet! Happy Birthday Laynie~I'm sure you had a better birthday than any of us can even imagine down here!
Jill, you're so creative! I just adore the "Layniebug" cupcakes :) I agree with your feelings about the grave site. She lives on in your heart and memories...the grave is just a place that her earthly body rests. She dances with angels now and sleeps in the arms of Jesus. Happy Birthday Laynie! May rapture come soon!
Happy Birthday Laynie!! I can just see you now, playing with all of your beautiful pink balloons. Sending kisses and hugs up to you in Heaven.
Bethany, PICU
Happy Birthday Laynie,
That was a neat idea Jill,
Miss you,
LOL,
Holly
Laynie - I miss you terribly but I pray every night for you and your family. My family will get together soon with yours to celebrate you and your sister!
Love you ~ Will (Hercules)
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