Well, today has been a day of mixed emotions. The legal process of adoption can be so mentally exhausting at times. From our past experiences I try to prepare my heart for anything "bad" happening. You try to guard your heart for the unexpected. Tiffany has agreed to go ahead and sign her rights over today around 2 pm, but is asking to be able to care for Selah and keep her in her room at the hospital until they are both discharged tomorrow. It is very hard not to get defensive and protective. We completely see her view of not wanting to part with Selah, but at the same time our hearts are yearning to be able to hold her as "our own" and be the caretakers. Technically she is ours today when we go see her at 3:30, but yet we will be asked to leave her there with Tiffany for one more day. Please pray for strength... I want to be able to fully look at Selah and bond immediately with her, but until we are taking her home with us it cannot fully sink in that I am her mommy! It is so hard to try to be the understanding one that acts like it doesn't matter at all when Tiffany gives up her rights, because inside we would love to have her this second.
I have been trying to think of a mother in the Bible that went through "adoption" and finally came up with Moses' mother. She had to put him in that basket not knowing the outcome and literally thinking that she would never be able to care for him again. Of course the queen that "adopts" him is not looked upon in a good manner in this story, but it helps me to put in perspective the thoughts that Tiffany has to be feeling. I think the struggle is because I will never be able to experience a childbirth, breastfeeding your baby, being able to be that first one to hold your child to your chest after giving life to them... that desire is what I have to put aside and be able to think that we God willing will have a lifetime with Selah and I need to have patience and do what God wants me to do...Be still.
Like I said before we hope to go see Tiffany and Selah today at 3:30 and meet her sister for the first time. Hopefully we will get some pictures and be able to put some on the website soon. Thanks for your continued words of encouragement and prayers of support!
15 comments:
Jill my heart just simply aches for you! There is such strength in you and Tadd to draw from eachother and from our Lord. Be still and let His will be done. I will be praying for your daughter to be in your arms soon.
Jill and Tadd
We are waiting and praying with you that the time will go fast, and you will soon have little Selah in your arms.
Love,
Keith and Michelle
Love you very much, I have those same thoughts daily.
your cuz Hol
Tadd and Jill- oh the desire to hold your baby girl, your yearning, and now you must wait. We will pray for Tiffany that these last moments can fill her heart for time to come, and that time will hurry by until your precious Selah is in your arms.
Hi,
I have met both of you once maybe twice(years back) but have been praying for you a while.....
I am so happy for you AND WILL PRAYING STILL!
Holli
Tadd and Jill,
Our Father is such a good God! I am so thankful to Him for answered prayers in your lives. I look forward to meeting your newborn daughter, Selah!
Love you both!
-Heids
Will be praying for you all! Our mother instincts and love are the same whether we give birth to our babies or adopt them I'm learning. Hoping that she will be in your arms forever soon!
Jill,
Julie and I said a prayer for you, Tadd, and Selah to be together early this afternoon. Anticipation is a difficult and wonderful thing. We pray also that you will feel His presence in this journey. Thank you for desiring to give a child a home that knows Jesus Christ.
Branden and Julie
What a beautiful little girl and a beautiful little family. Will be praying that everything continues to go well. And for Tiffany and her family.
Tadd...I think Selah got your hair :).
Blessings! Seth & Brandy
I've been praying like everyone else and am so thankful to our wonderful God for his faithfulness in answering your prayers to have children. Needless to say your little girl is adorable! Brought tears to my eyes to see you all together.
Dawn Mullen
Tad and Jill,
I was so glad to hear about your blessed event. Thank you for letting me share in your joy.
Gail
Regional Alternative School
Jill, Tadd & Selah,
We are so excited for your family!! :) Laynie has to be singing and playing with Jesus today! We cannot wait to meet her as soon as you are bringing her out and about!
Love to all ~ Andrea, Rob & Will
Tadd and Jill: Congrats on new daughter. She is beautiful! I will for your safe jouney back to Illinois and good health.
Tadd and Jill: Your new baby girls is beautiful. We will be pray for your safe journey and all of your good health on returning to Illinois. Enjoy her to the fullest.
Tadd and Jill,
Congratulations on such a beautiful gift from god. The pictures of her were beautiful. Such a loving and devoted family she has to look forward to in the upcoming years ahead. You are truely blessed and again Congratualations.
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